Ed The Serial CEO Sees The Analogue Design Team Resign

'Oh dear', writes Ed in the dairy entry immediately after his sacking of the CTO, 'today the analogue design team resigned.'

'I was thinking the removal of Pat (Pat Cook, Co-Founder and CTO) had gone pretty smoothly when I got a call from the other Co-Founder on the board, Somervell Gresham, who is now COO,' writes Ed.

'Gresham had kept his head down since the VCs and I engineered the removal of Pat for standing in the way of budgetary cuts,' writes Ed, 'now he was telling me with a hint of  satisfaction that the analogue design team had resigned.'

'"You know what this means", said Somervell, "it means our new product programme is absolutely fucked."'

'I asked Somervell: "Where are they?" Finding out they were still in the building I asked for them to come up to my office.'

'They'd obviously been in the pub. With them was the Scotsman I'd met in the canteen when I first joined the company and who had grilled me on my compensation package at the Town Hall meeting.  He seemed to be the group's spokesman.'

'When I asked: "Why have you resigned?" He replied: "We wairk fer Pat."'

'"No you do not", I told him, "you work for the company and the company pays your salary."'

'"Noo, noo, noo the coompany pays us noot noo. We're gone. Awa' wi yer. We wairked fer Pat not fer yer,"' said the Scotsman, insolent with drink and self-importance and red in the face.

'"What can I do to stop you leaving? What do you want?"'

'"We want yer to fook y'self'," said the Scotsman and he led his team off.'

'Oh well, only 340 days till we IPO, and I'm outta here with a fortune.'