'Oh dear', Ed confides to his diary, 'I seem to have incurred a bill of £200,000 for banking services which the CFO is refusing to pay as unauthorised by the board.'
'It was one of those investment bank guys, they're down on you all the time like fleas on dung suggesting acquisitions, new businesses, new ways of managing the old businesses etc etc, then hoping to collect a fee when you follow their advice', writes Ed.
'This guy had a study showing that the MEMS market was a good one to enter because the cost of entry is much lower than it was, the manufacturing processes are becoming standardised and so more affordable, and the applications are exploding,' adds Ed.
'The banker says I authorised him to make approaches to a small MEMS company in the expectation that we might do some kind of M&A', writes Ed, 'I didn't think I had authorised any approach but the banker says he has conclusive emails proving that I did. The bank is threatening to sue us for the debt - which is all we need six months ahead of an IPO."
A few days later Ed writes another diary entry:
'The CFO bought up the matter of the investment banker's invoice at the board meeting. There was 199% hostility', writes Ed, 'they said either I was working on the sly, or I'm an incompetent idiot and either way I should pay the bill myself.'
'What to do?'
A few days later, another diary entry reads:
'Decided to 'fess up to the VCs. Charming response: - "You total wanker," the VC said to me, "you should know these people are out for everything they can get. They're parasitical lice. Leave it with me. I know a couple of people at the bank. But, whatever happens Ed, you're going to have to pay something towards this."'
Two days later, Ed makes another entry:
"The VC rang today. "I've negotiated that fee down to £50,000', he tells me, 'the guy as good as admitted he did fuck-all on lining up a MEMS M&A. We'll pay the £50K but it will be deducted from your share of the proceeds of the IPO."
The swine then added:
'"In future Ed, stay away from stuff you don't understand - though I have to say that's a limited area."'
'Bastard. Total bastard', writes Ed, 'still it's only 158 days to go to the IPO and then I'm far away from this dump with my pockets bulging with bunce.'
Ed, truly is a total wanker, I've never heard of banking fees for M&A advice. All high tech M&A fees are success based, this is part of the reason that banks advise you to carry on with M&A's even when the deal no longer makes sense, their pay check depends on it.
I think Ed has just been scammed by the VC's. Pathetic Ed grow a pair!
I suppose the bankers would claim that Ed authorised them to do preliminary work irrespective of outcome. Yes, Robert, he's a wanker.