'What we need is a higher profile', Ed confides to his diary, 'and I've put in hand some moves to raise public awareness of the company with some clever and attractive branding.'
'Fortunately Liza (Ed's wife) has a cousin in the advertising business, and I've briefed him, on the quiet, to come up with a campaign. I reckon it's pretty hot but I've got to sell it to the board.'
'At the board meeting, the first foil I show the board is a picture of a bird.'
'"Who knows what kind of bird that is?" I ask. None of them has a clue.'
'"It's a woodpecker" I tell them. Blank expressions all round.'
'The second foil reads: "Problems with quick turnaround ASICs? Get Woody."'
'"Woody is our new brand, I tell them - Woody the Woodpecker - Woody provides solutions. Woody has all the answers. Woody is our customers' friend. We are Woody".'
'I show them Foil No.2: "Having problems programming FPGA? Get Woody."'
'The other foils follow on the same lines, instancing everyday problems our customers might face, followed by the slogan: "Get Woody".'
'I get to the end of the presentation. "Any comments?" I ask.'
'"Ed", says a weary-sounding voice, "do you know what the Americans mean when they say get wood?"'
'"Wodya mean? I ask rather aggressively.
'"To an American to get wood means to get a hard-on," comes the reply, "we'll be the laughing stock of the USA if we air these ads".'
'Titters all round. Oh well only 130 days to go to the IPO and I'll be out of here with a shedful of shekels.'
I can only repeat my assertion of a couple of weeks back - Ed's a c***
Thank you Pip, I think we're all now aware of your POV that Ed's a clot.
Guess Ed's going to take his MR2 to france then...
Merde, garry
Do you have to keep bringing up the real life nightmares that the bosses put upon us....it's vivid - the SalesVP/MD/CEO's wifely doings!
You just got to watch, some of us had to live through it...many times, many many times.
Sorry, Clive, Ed's such a sod for pissing people off.
Guess what? Woody might be more creative than some real-life re-branding exercises (discounting the american, french interpretations ;-).
Google helped me find this one.
http://bit.ly/b0tuxO
Good God, FTM, how pathetic is that?
Actually, FTM, I found it an interesting insight into a world I know very little about. I guess you are not a fonts and brand marks guru either, and would probably take exception to an expert in this field advising you on your PCB layout or C coding style.
If you dismiss 'superficial' aspects of marketing you'd better be prepared to dismiss a whole lot of other things too..