'I am now worth $10 million', Ed confides to his diary, 'the IPO went as planned. The VCs are happy. I have my fuck-off money.'
'Having spent the weekend at my mate's place glugging a case of 1985 Lafite - a cool six grand's worth - I'm feeling as rough as a badger's touch-hole,' adds Ed, 'and then, after breakfast, my solicitor phones.'
'"Sorry to have to tell you Ed but your wife has slapped a charge on the proceeds from the IPO", says the legal eagle.'
'"What does that mean?"'
'"It means you can't sell your shares until a court gives you permission."'
'"Why the hell would she do that?"'
'"Don't know Ed, you better ask her."'
'I ring her at her mother's where she's supposed to be on sick duty. "Why have you put a charge on the IPO proceeds?" I ask.'
'"Because I'm leaving you Ed, and I don't want you hiding that money away where I can't reach it".'
'"But why . . . .?" I ask.'
'"I've been seeing Pat for some time now, we're buying a house in the South of France together now we can afford it with my share of the IPO money, and we're going to live there most of the time."
'"Pat? " I ask.'
'"Pat Cook, who used to be your chief technology officer before you fired him."'
'"You evil, conniving bitch . . . ." I manage to say before she hangs up.'
'Well sod that,' writes Ed, 'only three days after the IPO and I've already lost half my swag.'
Magic stuff as ever David ! Ever thought of a side-line writing screenplay ?
Cheers
Sceppers
You're far too kind, Sceppers, but thanks.
Bridget Jones' Diary meets Wall St - box office dynamite!
David, Have been following Ed for months now, and have enjoyed every post. The similarity with some of the CEO s that i have worked with is striking!
Just as a sideline, the company I worked for went bust some years after going public....
Thanks, Dutch Guy, much appreciated.