Gadget Freak

A complete waste of time from a guy showing he’s got way too much spare time on his hands or a potential so-cutting-edge-it-hurts art installation? You decide.

Once in every generation, there is a genius who invents a device of such breathtaking beauty and staggering potential to benefit every last member of the human race that it goes down in the history books as one of the greatest inventions ever known to man.

We’re sorry to report that this human hamster wheel is not one of them. And we’re almost scared to think what future generations might think of our time if evidence of this wheel ever lasts that long.

The human hamster wheel, which, if you look closely, is actually more of an oval than a circle, is actually staying put in the inventor’s apartment for some time to come as it is too big to get out the door and the guy clearly didn’t think things through enough to predict how he was going to dismantle his project once the fun and games were over.

Complete with water bottle, human-sized hamster toys and toilet paper roll with a little bit of toilet paper stuck to it, the apartment in which the human hamster wheel sits actually has its floor covered in shredded newspaper. Fear pierced our hearts as we realised why the inventor laid out all the shredded newspaper. We thought, “No, that’s can’t possible be. That guy probably has a screw loose but surely, he couldn’t have put down all that shredded newspaper to absorb what happens when nature calls.” Unfortunately, it’s our sad duty to report when we saw it: he had left a little present in the corner of the room for the cameraman but we didn’t want to look at it close enough or long enough to determine if it was real or not. We understand some people may be reading this just before lunch, so that’s all we’re going to say on that matter, but we’re sure that apartment really gave him the sh*ts (sorry, couldn’t resist).

The human hamster wheel inventor really needs a good hobby (or even a job, like the rest of the normal population) because prior to creating his display of genius, he decided to cover everything – and we mean everything – in aluminium foil. This display of sheer stupidity took five days to carry out and that, of course, meant it took another five days to unwrap everything.

Foresight, among other things, is clearly not one of this inventor’s strengths.