Ed has struggled after being parchuted into his latest CEO position by VC backers who want to see a company spruced up for an IPO. In his diary, which recently came into my possession, I see he’s pleased one day when the Chairman of his lead VC suggests they meet up for a round of golf.
‘The VC guy seems a genial sort of fellow when we meet up at the Pro Shop’, Ed writes in his diary, ‘he buys a box of Maxfli Revolution and we set out for the first tee. When we get there he says: “Let’s make it worthwhile. Shall we say £500 on the match?” I’m gob-smacked, but I assume it’s best to agree. I need this guy’s support. But it means I’m not going to let him win to keep him happy. I’m not dropping £500 willingly.’
‘We’re level at the 17th, a par 5, and I know I’ve got the so-and-so when he drives into the rough, and I go straight down the fairway.’
‘He spends ages searching for his ball. Good, I thought. He’ll have to drop a new one and take a penalty stroke. Then, to my surprise, he hits a 200 yard shot out of the rough and lands 20 yards short of the green.’
‘He makes par, as do I. I reach to take the balls out of the hole and notice both are Titleist.’
‘I thought you were playing Maxfli”, I said.
“No”, he said, abruptly, snatching the ball from my hand.
“You were playing a Maxfli Revolution on the first,” I said.
“No I wasn’t. I’ve played Titleist Pro V1 throughout.”
‘He looked shifty and I suspected he’d failed to find his ball on the 17th and had dropped another in an easy lie so he could make that 200 yarder.’
‘He wins the 18th but, instead of suggesting a 19th hole drink, he says: “Got to get going. Send me a cheque for the £500.” And shoots off.’
‘Bugger. I’ve pissed off the Chairman of our lead VC. Does it matter? I don’t know, but it’s not a positive.’
‘Only 361 days to the IPO when I’ll get enough dosh to say sod the lot of them.’