Ed Turns The Screw

‘Fear stalks the halls,’ Ed writes in his diary, ‘I must admit The Brats’ idea of sacking the C-Class execs has its merits. There are more cars staying later in the car park in the evening, heads are down, insecurity pervades the atmosphere. Are the execs a little greyer? Faces more lined? I think so.’

The Brats are what Ed calls the 20-something year-old super-sharpies who monitor his company for its private equity owners. The Brats have told Ed to sack the C-Class execs as an exercise in motivation and re-invigoration. So far Ed has sacked the CIO and CMO.

‘There’s a lot to be gained in not replacing the CIO and CMO quickly,’ adds Ed, ‘I can toy with the potential replacements. Ask them to take on tough new duties. Set them against each other in the promotion hunt. Hint that I may be looking outside. They’ll dance to my tune.’


A couple of days later, the entry reads: ‘Called in the top marketing today. Told them: “I want a report on each of our main product sectors – that’s one from each of you. I want 12-month projections of  the overall ordering intentions from each of the top twenty customers in each sector and projections of  what percentage of the total orders will be placed on us”.’


‘”Can’t be done,” replies the head of marketing, “these guys don’t even know what they’re going to order the month after next”.’


‘I tossed in the hand grenade,’ writes Ed.


‘”Gentlemen, our new CMO, whoever he will be, will need this information. I suggest that we provide it for him. By this time next week,” I told them.’


‘You could have heard a pin drop. They shuffled out,’ Ed confided to his diary, ‘roll on my $25 mill.’



  1. Ed,
    The “head of marketing” is most-generously-rewarded position in technology companies commonly (not always, but often) used to ring-fence people who should be kept away from applied science and scientific fact at all costs. A number of similarly-titled, handsomely-remunerated roles exist for when blessed with more than one.
    Based on available evidence and all that jazz…
    The Baron

  2. Who is the “head or marketing” anyway?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *