Ed Sacks The Receptionists

‘My cost-cutting initiative has been extended to the receptionists, they’ve all been sacked,’ Ed tells his diary, ‘all company foyers are now equipped with terminals. Visitors have to enter in the name of the person they’ve come to see and an email goes to that person.’

A few days later, Ed’s diary entry reads: ‘What a hoo-ha. All sites are reporting crowds of people in their foyers waiting to see people. It seems half the people in the company don’t watch their emails regularly or they’re in meetings, at lunch or travelling and they don’t respond to emails from the automated reception. So visitors are sitting around our foyers getting angry.’

‘Do I care?’ Ed asks himself, ‘not really. Negative effects on suppliers and customers won’t show up until after the IPO.’

‘This is the sort of initiative I couldn’t have pushed through if the COO was still on board, but I’ve sacked him and he won’t be replaced.’

A few days later, the diary entry reads. ‘Anguished phone call from the manager of our Basingstoke facility, our largest. The general manager says: “We’ve had to call the police in to sort out trouble among people in the lobby. They’ve been getting fractious because they wait so long”.’

‘”Take out all the seating in the foyers,” I tell the Basingstoke general manager, “if they can’t sit down they won’t hang around our foyers for very long.”‘

‘”But, but . . .”, started the general manager.’

‘”Just do it,” I tell him, ‘roll on my $25 mill.’



  1. Where’s Ed going to get his young ladies to ravish now?

  2. Ed also needs to close down the ‘facilities’ for visitors. If there’s nowhere to ‘go’ the visitors will go.

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