Round One saw Heavyweight Champion Mauler Mote the Schaumburg Slayer take on an unexpected challenger - Olaf 'The Oaf' Nokemgougemnbatterem, the Espoo Exterminator.
Adopting the radical new 'digital' fighting technique, Olaf quickly ended Mauler Mote's reign, consigning him to gladiatorial also-ran.
Round Two saw Olaf matched against another unexpected newcomer, the novice heavyweight Proper Job, the Cupertino Conqueror.
The Conqueror knocked The Oaf clear out of the ring in the second round by adopting another radical fighting technique known as 'touch'. But his reign as Heavyweight Champion lasted only four years.
Round Three saw a determined challenge from a contender who had been in intensive training for the bout over a number of years - Scrapper Sammy the Seoul Slugger.
Once again Sammy showed that adopting a new fighting technique known as 'five-inch' won the day in a bruising contest in which The Conqueror appealed frequently and unsuccessfully to the referee.
Scrapper Sammy's reign may be short. Limbering up for a title shot is 'Battling Bear' Bezos the Butcher of Seattle with a new fighting technique called 'cheap'.
In view of their short tenure, champions are advised to clean up while they can. The message for the World Heavyweight Phone Champion is 400 years old:
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may
Old Time he is a'flying
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow is a'dying.