Perfect Pub-Based Get-Rich-Quick Business


In that ideal world of making-millions-while-sitting-in-the-pub, the new boom for cell-phone applications is the perfect pub-based industry.


Sitting in the garden of The Spring in Ewell last Tuesday night, three of us came up with a trio of great new cellphone apps:


You shake your phone and it makes a noise – like a rattle, or a drum roll or a  bagpipes’ swirl.


Karaoke backing tracks


Rhythms from different musical instruments so a group of you could improvise a band.


With Silicon Valley VCs investing $383 million in new start-up companies developing cell-phone apps in the first half of 2008, these three apps should be the core of a decent business proposal.


Seed funding required is £147,970 representing: Cost of pint £3 (including crisps and nuts), X 3 ( for three people), X 7 days a week (no slacking), X 365 days in the year.


The market appears unsatiable. Apple report that in the ten days after the 3G iPhone launch, 25 million apps were downloaded to it.



  1. Yes Fred, isn’t that that Occam’s Razor pronciple?

  2. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

  3. Good luck, sleneplatenda, you seem to be in the right business at the right time.

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  5. I don’t know Soinalalm, I’m a total novice at this Apps game. But it sounds a contender. Give it a whirl!

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  8. Edward Bruce Williams

    I thought realistic cost projections were considered amateur. 147,709 is at the very bottom of numbers worth VC interest.
    You made a good start with bad numbers, but you missed the bigtime by forgetting to add in an extra decimal place.
    1,477,090 is a number sure to get funded !

  9. Excellent. I like it. And a farting noise usually gets a laugh

  10. Or throwing grenade style through the air with a pleasing whizz followed by an ‘explosion’ sound ?

  11. Or blowing raspberries?

  12. I like the idea of a motion sensing phone – WII remote style. For shaking at call centre, double glazing callers and perhaps throwing at brick walls when it (or all life come to that) goes wrong 1

  13. You’re absolutely right. I went wrong in stating that my X7 was the number of days in a week when it should have been the number of pints per day per head. On that basis the
    figure for seed funding should have been 3 X 3 X 7 X 365 = £22,995

  14. You should file a patent on shaking the phone to make a musical noise idea but, due diligence shows a couple of problems in the cost model.
    £3 x 3 x 7 x 365 = £22,995 not £147,970
    also it doesnt make sense to scale by 7 days a week and then by 365 days a year. So actual funding requirement for first year is only £3,285. Maybe you should increase salaries and allow for more than one pint/day!

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