‘That sly little bitch the Head of HR thinks I’m a revolting old lech – courtesy of the mike I had installed in the ladies’ loo,’ Ed confides to his diary, ‘and I put her in that job because every time I see her she makes out she’s hot…
‘We have a problem,’ Ed confides to his diary, ‘projects are over-running. Over-running on budget and over-running on time. A quarter of our hardware projects are late and 35% of our software budgets are late – 15% of them late by six months or more…
‘The Brats are on the phone again today banging on about our assembly and test costs,’ Ed’s diary reads, referring to the 20-something year-old, super-sharpies employed by his company’s private equity owners to monitor his performance…
‘One of The Brats phones today moaning about the level of tax we pay,’ Ed confides to his diary referring to the 20-something year-old super-sharpies employed by his company’s private equity fund owners to monitor the company’s progress…
‘Poor old Peter our former CFO went down today – eighteen months inside for passing company financial information to a hedge fund,’ Ed confides to his diary, ‘he’ll never get a decent job again…
‘Persuasion, bribery, blackmail, intimidation’, writes Ed in his diary, ‘these are the only ways I can see of persuading Hedge Fund Houri Clarissa not to mention my role in the leaking of confidential company information…
‘Inspector Plod and a Sergeant from The Serious Fraud Office turn up today,’ Ed confides to his diary, ‘asking all sorts of questions about the security of our financial information some of which has, they say, leaked out to a hedge fund.’
‘I am quite good at feigning shock and…
‘A close shave,’ Ed confides to his diary, ‘so long as the CFO keeps on seeing Clarissa I could be in the clear. It’s important that if there any leaks of company information to her hedgie pals that it would appear to have come from the CFO rather than…