Ed Bags Up A Pill-Pusher
‘News of our poaching programme seems to have reached the ears of The Brats,’ writes Ed in his diary, referring to the 20-something-year-old super-sharpies who monitor his company for its private equity owners, ‘the uber-Brat himself – the legendary S. Litely Krazed, CEO of the PE company, emails me his congratulations.’
Ed has been poaching key talent from rival companies to get him to market quickly with new products. The Brats had indicated that, if he didn’t deliver growth, his job prospects were dicey.
‘I’ve found a good one,’ writes Ed, ‘everyone you meet these days seems to be on some kind of medication and a company’s come up with an IC which delivers your medication if you’re too thick, too old or too sloshed to remember to do it yourself. There’s a company with a chip about to tape-out which can deliver 365 doses of a medication at daily intervals. Any GP can implant it. It’s going to be big volume runner.’
‘Time to call in Bob. “Bob,” I ask him, “how’s your Boston network?”‘
Bob, Ed’s newly appointed COO and Ed’s best friend in the industry, always brims with self-regard.
‘”Fantastic,” says Bob, “awesome.
“He never under-estimates his own popularity, that boy,’ writes Ed, ‘I toss him over my notes on this development.’
‘Bob whistles. “This is going to make us squillions, Ed, we’ll be able to get joint development contracts with the pharmaceutical companies. What’ll people pay not to have to bother about injecting themselves or swallowing a pill every day – $100 a year? $200? For one IC!”‘
‘”Spot on, Bob,” I tell him, “get over to Massachusetts. Get your nose to the ground and sniff out who’s behind all this. Ferret him out, find out what he wants, chivvy him like an old stoat until he accepts our offer and get him over here”.’
‘Bob always gets his man,’ Ed confides to his diary, ‘roll on my $25mill.’