Ed Resorts To Skulduggery

‘It’s surprising how easy it is to destroy someone’s reputation when you’re ruthless and have money,” Ed confides to his diary, ‘one by one I’ve bribed, cheated, schemed and wreaked destruction on my former C-Class exec colleagues.’

Ed had been ordered by the private equity company which owns his company to get rid of the C-Class execs. When straightforward firings stopped working, Ed resorted to foul means.

 

‘The CFO, who gave me so much trouble when I tried to fire him, got reprimanded by the Institute for Chartered Accountants thanks to a charge of misconduct trumped up by me. Being reprimanded by his professional body meant he had to resign from the company,’ writes Ed, ‘likewise the CLO who was censured by The Law Society on another false charge concocted by my goodself, aided by a bribe or three. He was obviously obliged to resign from the company as well.’

 

‘The COO found himself on the wrong end of an allegation that he accepted irregular payments from a distie – all rubbish of course set up by me; and the CMO was provoked to hit an operator after I’d bribed the operator to circulate a false story about the CMO’s wife.  Workplace violence means instant dismissal.’

 

‘The CSO was the easiest. He’s a bit of a flirt and it was easy to pay one of the girls to lead him on a bit and then accuse him of sexual harassment,’ writes Ed, ‘after that it was a doddle to persuade him resignation and silence was a better option than fighting a lawsuit.’

 

A week or two later the diary entry reads:

 

‘Got a call from The Brats this morning,’ writes Ed, referring to the 20-something, year-old super-sharpies who monitor his company for its private equity owners.

 

‘”Well done,” said The Brat, “a comprehensive C-exec clear-out – all except you”.’

 

‘A shiver went down my spine.’

 

‘”Don’t worry,” added The Brat, “we have confidence in you”.’

 

‘For how long?’ Ed mournfully asks his diary, ‘roll on my $25 mill.’

Tags: brats, c class, equity company, Private equity

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6 Comments

  1. David Manners
    October 08, 2012 15:34

    Thank you Fred, I’ll make sure Ed hears of your appreciation.

  2. Fred Dart
    October 08, 2012 15:29

    It’s late over here in Singapore but I do enjoy my Monday evening Ed saga.. Worth waiting up for.

  3. Fred Dart
    October 08, 2012 15:25

    > the CMO was provoked to hit an operator after I’d bribed the operator to circulate a false story about the CMO’s wife.
    Cancel that last comment – must read closer the next time .. Fred

  4. Fred Dart
    October 08, 2012 15:22

    What about the CMO? If I recall Ed was worried about having seven shades of shite beaten out of him by the ever so subtle Scottish guy ?

  5. Fred Dart
    October 08, 2012 15:18

    I would certainly class him as a bit of a C, though a resourceful one..

  6. Dr Bob
    October 08, 2012 15:09

    I wonder if Ed has been recording the conversations with the Brats?

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