The Great Ecuadorean Escape
The Foreign Secretary has kindly offered us a brain-teaser to while away those sauvignon-soaked lunches in these pleasant late August days: How do the Ecuadoreans get Julian Assange out of the London embassy?
The best idea, presumably from an American, was to make Assange the Ecuadorean ambassador to the UK and then he can strut untouchable around London ‘annoying all the Brits’.
Another idea is for him to be winched from the embassy balcony by a helicopter and flown to an Ecuadorean ship in international waters.
Another idea is to change him by extensive plastic surgery so he resembles the Ecuadorean ambassador. The surgery would have to be extensive because the Ecuadorean ambassador to the UK is a woman. The transgendered Assange could toddle off to Heathrow unmolested for the flight to Quito.
Assange could also acquire diplomatic immunity by being appointed an official Ecuadorean embassy diplomatic courier. Or he could be appointed Ecuador’s representative to the UN which would also make him legally untouchable
If he could be smuggled into a diplomatic car he is safe from the UK fuzz and could be driven through the Eurotunnel to Switzerland.
Bookmakers Paddy Power are offering 25-1 against him tunnelling out, and 100-1 against his getting out by hot air balloon or by jet-pack.
The boring solution is to ship him out in the diplomatic bag, but no one seems to know for sure what the diplomatic bag actually is.
Well those are the best ones I’ve seen.