Ed Considers His Position

Three days from a general election and the elected politicians are in a right old flutter, Ed confides to his diary.

The crazy thing was the PM, a fortnight before a general election, announcing she’s going to screw the old folk.

Unlike the young, the old actually vote – they have nothing else to do – and most of them vote Tory.

So when there’s no need to say anything, why do you say you’re going to clobber them?

The explanation is hubris. No.10 was so certain of victory they thought they could say what they liked and still win.

No longer. The polls show the PM’s ‘strong and stable’ act is a busted flush.

All that guff about the vicar’s daughter, principle not opportunism, country before party – has been shown up for politicians’ guff.

“Do elected politicians always go bonkers?” I ask my Permanent Secretary.

“Indubitably, Secretary of State.”

“Anything we can do about it?”

“For me it’s an occupational hazard, Secretary of State, for you it signals that it’s time to consider your post-Ministerial career.”





  1. Roll on the next Ed episode – eagerly awaited !

  2. He hangs by a thread, Fred, the Torygraph poll this morning gives the headmistress a 1 point leas

  3. Things are ghastly, Fred, May has unravelled in double-quick time. The bookies’ odds on Boris taking over are shortening. God help us all.

  4. Surprised she didn’t include the delivery of 101 dalmatians for her new fur coat as well. What a fuck up, as if things weren’t bad enough.

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